Guarding Your Heart: Part 1

We have a natural desire to be protected. Women like protection. One of the primary roles of a husband is to protect himself, wife and family from all types of danger. The type of danger that is often thought of is physical, like an intruder or robber. What about emotional danger and mental danger? Danger that stems from himself? His own heart?

To guard your heart is not just for the singles in waiting. It’s for all of us; especially in marriage.

When most people speak of guarding the heart it is in the context of dating or courtship, where we are advised to keep our deepest feelings to ourselves, be wise regarding our vulnerable state, and to not fall too hard for someone who is not our spouse. After all, even if you are engaged, you aren’t married. You are dedicated or committed to that person you will pledge your heart to, but you are not one in the sight of God until you are wed.

So why do we spend so much time preparing everyone for the dating/waiting period when marriage is almost 50-100xs longer the dating period?

I hated being taught about how to date “the right way”. By the first year of my courtship with Brian, I was so sick of reading dating books. It was repulsive!

Christian dating culture would like to teach that dating prepares you for divorce because it teaches that if the dates with this person does not go the way you want, you can move on. It teaches that courtship is such a better word because your mindset is “different”. Well what about those whose courtship doesn’t work out because two people aren’t willing to deal with sin? My “courtship” before Brian was heading towards marriage, but there was so much I was not willing to submit to in that man, I couldn’t bear the thought of it being God’s will, which it was not. That courtship came to and end. (I plan to tell that story another day.)

People aren’t willing to sacrifice. They aren’t willing to fight.

The mindset of training Christians to court seems a little skewed as well. Teach me how to be married. Because on the other side of “I Do”, the enemy lies in wait to attack you and your spouse with more them temptation to cheat. The temptation to give up, to lie, to hold back, to attack, to blame, to be unloving, to be unforgiving, to run, to hide, to be selfish all waits for you to give in so that your marriage will cease. Ladies there is a better way. Teach the cross. Teach us how to be like Jesus. He is giving, truthful, comforting, accepting, understanding, loving, forgiving, always present, available, compassionate, selfless, and unfailing. Teach me how to be like Jesus. He perfectly submitted to the Father, so He can teach me how to submit to my husband. He perfectly cleaned up my life, so He can teach me how to clean up a home. He loves perfectly, so surely He will teach me how to love. He perfectly forgave me, so He is the One who can teach us to forgive the biggest offense that hurts the deepest. Teach me how to be like Jesus. Don’t give me a book on biblical womanhood, dating/courtship, or waiting patiently. Give me the Bible.

Teach me how to be like Jesus because that’s how you teach someone to be married.

We are not defined by our titles: female, single, wife, sister, mother, daughter, friend. You are a follower of Christ first if you have been saved. You can learn to be better at all these titles and get the recognition from your circle for being such a great (fill in the blank). But all glory goes to God for being what you are because He has given you the tools to be her or taught you how to be her (Philippians 3). God has given you His word to help transform your life. He has given you His word, the Bible, to transform your heart. God cares about your heart and that’s why he speaks of it so much. Hebrews 4 explains that God has allowed Jesus to be the way in which we enter into perfect rest. It tells us that His word discerns our hearts and will cut to the deepest parts that expose the darkness within that can cause us to sin, cause harm to others, and to ourselves. The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:8-9 that ‘the heart is deceitful above all things,and desperately sick;who can understand it?“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind,to give every man according to his ways,according to the fruit of his deeds.”’

We don’t guard our hearts just from things getting in, we guard them from what could come out (Matt.5:10-12)

Wow! So how can you guard something and YOU don’t even know what’s there? That’s like someone asking you to guard what’s behind a huge door, with no weapons, because if you let that whatever is in there out, you will die. Wouldn’t you want to know what’s behind the door? And possibly ask if there is someone more equipped to guard the door?

There IS someone more equipped to guard you from the dangers of yourself. Jesus sees everything in your heart and in your potential spouse’s/spouse’s/boyfriend’s heart too. You can’t guard your heart. You can obey God, who is the keeper of your heart and do whatever He needs you to do to be where you need to be to resist the temptation of the enemy and prevent you from making a decision that is outside of His will.

There’s more to this thing than we think. See you next week.

Read Philippians 4 and Proverbs 4 and study the passages above until next time. God’s Spirit will show you how they apply to your life (John 14:25-27).

Gospel Groundwork: Unashamed

There are many reasons to talk about the gospel.

The reason the groundwork in your heart is so important, is because there are many life issues that have to be addressed from this one place. The book of Mark shows us what Jesus says about our hearts: ‘And he called the people to him again and said to them, “Hear me, all of you, and understand: There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.” -Mark 7:14-16

Within your heart are the darkest of secrets. We all have them.  I once heard someone say that no one would want the thoughts of their hearts played on a screen in Times Square New York.  It’s true.  We know ourselves well enough to know that we aren’t perfect. The most sinister person you know is you.  Well, some of us are in denial and would like to think that there is some sort of innate good in us. The craze of the modern world and some theologians is that goodness is truly in us. We would like to believe that humankind is good sisters, but that is not the case. Ask the next two year old child you know, with an agenda to touch, hit, run, or knock over something, to stop and their first response will be that of rebellion, not obedience. Besides the obvious examples that are seen all around us that display man’s wicked heart, our condition is best explained in the Bible. 

Before we touch 21 verses of Romans 12 and talk about how we are to apply them to our lives, we must plant in our hearts the essential truth of the gospel. We can’t talk about being a “living sacrifice” or “clinging to what is good” without knowing how we can be those things or who can help us live like this. Let’s use an abridged version of Romans 1-11 to help us see who we are, what the issue of life is, why we need Jesus, and how we can accept His solution.

(If you feel like a superchristian and think you can skip this part, don’t.)

Romans chapters 1-3 gives some of the bad news concerning life. Paul, the writer, starts with a statement in chapter 1:16, almost as a declaration of this good, bad news that will result in great news. Being unashamed of the gospel of Jesus doesn’t mean being only unashamed of the best news, but also unashamed of the worst. He’s not afraid to say that those who reject God’s law and constantly seek lawless living will be left to their evil ways (Rom. 1:28-32). He doesn’t hide the fact that God will judge anyone who doesn’t accept Him and follow His laws. He calls out the religious person, and anyone who is pointing out all the flaws and sin in others, but doesn’t realize that we are all on the list for God’s wrath and judgment. Paul also isn’t ashamed to say, yes, only God can judge you, but based on your spiritual condition, that judgment won’t be based on what you do, where you are from, or how moral you think you are. It will be based on the sin that lies in your heart, separating you from God, reminding you that you can’t keep any of His laws (Rom. 2&3).

This isn’t a guilt trip. If you are a Christian, you can’t be afraid to bring up the sin problem to someone who isn’t a follower of Jesus. We all have sin, none of us are righteous, and not one of us seeks after God. (Rom. 3:9-12). Some of you don’t know that Jesus made a way for you be free from the punishment for your sin and a way to be in a relationship with God. Here’s more truth that you and I don’t have to be ashamed of: God loves you and sent Jesus to die to take the wrath of God you and I deserve. That’s where the bad news changes to great news. You can have a relationship with Jesus.

Stick with me to hear more about what you can or will be freed from and what Jesus did for you and I as the groundwork continues.

Have you asked God to forgive your sin? Have you accepted that Jesus died in your place? You can be forgiven and you can enjoy a life as a friend of the God of the universe. Ask God to show you who He is. He will show up.

If you are a follower of Jesus, ask God to show you what work needs to be done in your heart so you can walk closer to Him. Ask God to help you be unashamed of the truths in His gospel. He will show up.

Romans 12:17

Guarding Your Heart: My Story

 

I cringe even writing the phrase, honestly.   It’s cliché by now. We all have heard it and so many of us use it to counsel, mentor, encourage, or even quote. The phrase “guard your heart” is very over used and over-worked in Christian dating  (dare I use that word either) culture.  This series won’t be to share what Christian dating culture means when they say “guard your heart”. I don’t think these posts will suffice for godly pre-marital counseling, and it sure doesn’t trump what the Holy Spirit can and will speak to you through His Word during our time together.

In 2008, I began a relationship with my now husband, Brian, who will be mentioned quite often in this series and more to come.  We were a part of a church community that placed much emphasis on dating God’s way and getting married ASAP. I can’t speak for other couples we know who experienced counsel from that community during their dating or courtship period.  I believe we all have a perspective and a story to tell that plays a major role in the larger tapestry of God’s story.  We personally sought out older/other couples to give us the meaning of what everyone was telling us to do: “guard your heart”.  Hindsight is 20/20.  We found no solace in anyone’s answer. Why couldn’t anyone give us a plain, biblical, straight-forward answer of what they meant by the term? The people we were asking were no more than 25-30, and I honestly believe they didn’t have a clue and were not at fault for not relaying the right answers.  People over 50 can attest that people in their 20s like to think they know everything because they have a semi-handle on the buds of adulthood.

I don’t fault them.  God has a way of guiding your steps right back to where you belong: at His feet, on your face. In my frustration, that’s what I did, as I had always done in every past relationship.  I sought the Lord and He heard me.

So sisters,

“Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together.

⁴ I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed.” Psalm 34:3-5

Let me testify. Seek God, and He will hear you.  He will deliver you from your fears. Fear of the unknown; Fear of man.  God delivered me from all of those fears that come with a new relationship in which I wanted to please the Lord more than anything.  And sisters, we looked to Jesus and we are not ashamed.  Jesus covers all guilt and shame and will hide you in the face of all your fears.

The Holy Spirit showed me, in my most desperate times with Him, through His Word, what it meant to guard your heart.  I must say I have not read the meaning in any book but the Bible.  My answer did not come from anyone but Him.  Jesus said He would send the Helper to teach us all things (John 14:26) and the Bible also says in 1 John 2 that the anointing of God is in you, if you have been saved by Jesus; and that the anointing will teach you all things, and will not lie to you.

Stick with me as we go through Philippians 4:1-13. The Word of God shows us what can happen when we fully rely on Him for the peace that surpasses understanding.

Read Philippians 4 and Proverbs 4 until next time.

What does this mean for your life now? What is said about the heart? How can you gain wisdom and peace based on these two passages of scripture?

Romans 12:16

Romans 12:15

Romans 12:14

Intro: Why start on the ground?

My mom has a garden. It’s on the same ground that my grandfather used to work, behind their home during his life. There were so many great seeds that produced fruits, vegetables and flowers. We used to play in that backyard all the time as kids, but one thing I remember my grandmother yelling at us was “Stay out the garden!” or “Don’t mess up Pop-pop’s garden!”

Spring is here. Buds are blooming everywhere and the produce in the markets are beginning to taste so much better. Gardens are relevant to some readers, but to others, like myself with the “black thumb”, we just observe from afar and enjoy the beauty or flavors of the hard work put into the ground.

Groundwork is the foundation or the basis on which something is laid.

There are many ways to talk about groundwork.  I want to help you understand that there is beauty in you, but you first have to prepare and work the grounds of your heart to cultivate what God will grow in you. God created and fashioned you with a purpose (Psalm139). You were created in Jesus, who is the creator of all things, to do good works and bear fruit to righteousness (John 1:3; Ephesians 2:10).  However, there is work to be done. Some of us have seeds in our hearts that have been flourishing into the beautiful work God is calling us to.  Some of us just barely see the sprouting growth beginning. Some of us, have had the beautiful fruits and flowers of our God-given purpose ripped out, trampled, stolen, or poisoned by others.

So let’s start on the ground. Let’s get low, get our hands dirty, and examine what our life is yielding for the purpose of replanting, pruning, watering, plucking, and protecting.  A relationship with Jesus Christ is the only way to have a more fulfilling and beautiful life.  Ask Him to show Himself to you so that you may get to know Him.  Stick around. There’s more to be said about what God does when we give Him our hearts to lay His groundwork.

How can you prepare yourself for God to show you who He really is? Is there something that you need to pull up, weed out, or shine some light on?

 

 

Romans 12:12

Romans 12:11